Ugh- I already feel like the grim reaper. The Stealer of fun. The Harsher-of-the-mellows. My coffee-shop friends are very much going to throw tomatoes at me for this one.
But let’s get honest about something that does as much damage to productivity in entrepreneurship as mindless scrolling on social media: the coffee date.
A brief disclaimer: If you are a person who gets their best work done in a coffee shop, surrounded by the constant swing of the door, the sound of the espresso machine, and people...hang tight. This one might not be for you...
But for the entrepreneurs who have more than one coffee date per week, and feel overloaded…hear me out?
You know the drill...you’re in an ongoing text convo with someone that you know you need to meet with. You’ve set up plans and canceled four times already, and you’ve finally decided to take the pressure off and make it a coffee date instead.
You check the calendar, find a 1-hour slot, and pencil it in.
The day-of comes, and you’re regretting the decision. You have deadlines. Things on the to-do list that can’t go another day. What you need to do is get after it, and not stop until lunch--as in, put the phone on dnd and knock things out.
But you’ve scheduled this coffee date, so you’re squeezing in as much work as possible beforehand. And an hour after you get rolling at work, it’s time to go.
Ripping your attention away from what you were doing, you make sure everything is saved, pack things up, and head out the door. It’s scheduled to be a one-hour coffee date, but you know it will be more like two.
Perhaps you are exchanging ideas with someone. Maybe it’s a strategy meeting. Or, it’s just good old fashioned face-time with a friend.
Unpopular opinion time: coffee dates completely derail a workday for entrepreneurs, who are trying to get a launch off the ground. The morning motivation you started with gets drowned in thoughts and ideas, and stuff that--honestly? Isn’t where your attention is needed.
Some of the hardest limitations to outgrow in the entrepreneurial journey are other people’s expectations, previous obligations, and the way things have been in the past.
Pro tip: no one will take your business more seriously than you.
Generally speaking and not accounting for legitimate focusing challenges, productivity issues for entrepreneurs are more about mindset than they are about time. Our focus on important objectives is directly related to how serious we are; how bad we want it.
I always tell people that whatever they wake up and go to sleep thinking about is their passion project that could turn into a career. Because we make sacrifices--even costly ones, for things that we want.
One of those sacrifices for you might be the social expectation you’ve previously set around availability.
Steve Jobs said, “Focusing is about saying no.” And when you’re launching or running a business, the word “no” is your friend.
If you have a nagging suspicion that you are ready to outgrow the coffee date, and unless you have nothing but time to waste, consider saying no.
Remember that project you were completely absorbed in before you packed up and hit “save?” It’s still waiting for you, only now you don’t have the fresh brain, attention, and intention to give to it.
You’re keyed up on coffee, it’s about to be lunchtime--and the day’s half over.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here. Ready?
A two-hour coffee date--even a work coffee meeting--can be the mindset-equivalent of spending two hours scrolling social media.
Just because we’ve built an entire culture around coffee, and coffee shops, and the culture of meetings at coffee shops, does not make it the best way to meet with people.
Cue the throwing of the tomatoes.
I know.
But your time is valuable--like liquid-gold-valuable. Each week offers you at least 40-50 hours of opportunity to absolutely shred your goals.
When you say “no thank you,” you might be sacrificing a fun catch-up, or an excuse to leave your desk for a while...but what you won’t be sacrificing is your commitment to hyper-focus for the time it will take to get your biz off the ground.
It could be a temporary alteration that is setting you apart from those that want and those that do.
Ok, that’s a big enough helping of mindset-vegetables.
Let’s Talk About What You Can Do Instead
#1: Set an early start time.
If you absolutely must meet someone for coffee, make it as early as possible. Like: 7 or 8 am. If there’s pushback about that, say “I know it’s so early! But I have a really packed day and want to be in my seat, working by 9.”
It lets them know you take your time uber-seriously. It also communicates that you have one hour, and not one minute more.
#2: Make It A Scheduled Phone Call
Have you ever read If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You? Kelly Cutrone breaks this down brilliantly.
Phone calls are a necessity in business. They just are. Sure, many things can and should be handled via text...but, not big-thinking strategizing, and not potentially discreet discussions.
I am a big fan of the phone-call, as dated as that might sound. Especially scheduled ones. To me, 20 texts exchanged while I’m trying to work, about something that could be covered in a 2-minute phone call, is the actual worst. (Then again, I’m old enough to remember land-lines attached to walls with cords, and getting the busy signal when someone wasn’t available—but I digress.)
Making it a phone call brings everyone’s brains to full attention. People are less likely to go down rabbit trails. And you can check the time without being seen checking the time.
#3: Schedule a quick lunch.
For whatever reason, people are just more aware of the time when it is a lunch instead of a coffee. There’s a server that is coming around to the table refilling drinks, picking up plates, and delivering checks.
There’s a purpose in the meeting, and it has an endpoint built-in as long as you stick with it.
Another Pro Tip: If possible, bring up the reason for the meeting within 5 minutes of sitting down. Again, it keeps the conversation focused and makes the most of the time you’ve carved out to meet.
Yes, you will have to talk while wrangling a salad, but you will not be a time-waster. So there’s that.
I can’t claim scientific evidence here, but I tend to feel a little less guilty after returning from a lunch-meeting, than when I return from a coffee date. Coffee dates cut directly into the workday, while lunch does not.
Keep your eye on the prize.
We all like to talk about productivity, and crushing our goals until they actually cost us something. Many times entrepreneurship means sacrificing what others won’t sacrifice, to have what others don’t have.
This is a good thing! This is what makes the entrepreneurial, or solopreneurial journey pay enormous dividends in both the short-term and the long-term.
You are sitting in the pilot seat. You get to wake up every day and let your intuition and ambitions drive your business forward.
Focus during the building phase is what sets up your business for success.
If you need to, visualize the day when you will have a schedule and rhythm that allows for a 2-hour coffee date. Maybe flexibility in your schedule aligns with your value system. Let that influence your goals.
But keep your big-picture goals in front of you, and learn to say no to the things that are hindering your progress.
Your future self will thank you for it.
Also? There’s always happy hour...